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Domestic violence is not something that happens 'out there' to other people you don't know. It's a contagion of silence. Silence from within, where we victims of spousal abuse cling to our need to hide, to deny its existence. Silence from the outside, because the woman being beaten & abused, the girl suffering from increasing levels of PTSD, are falling deeper into the battered woman syndrome. She is your daughter. Your sister. Your mother, your friend, your niece and your neighbor. You know and care for a woman who is being beaten.
This powerful new book is part biography, part expose, part provocative treatise on the issues facing us, every day, with domestic violence. The author lets us in on her own journey through the darkness of being an abused child, through increasingly difficult and dangerous relationships, culminating with her husband throwing her from a moving vehicle the night he realized she meant it when she said she was leaving.
Harrowing, chilling, incomprehensible, yet warm and engaging, Roxanne shows us that the misconceptions and misperceptions we carry about domestic violence are killing the girls and women we know and love. The blinders are removed, and though this is a difficult read in its honesty and insight into the world of domestic violence from the point of view of the victims, it is also a challenge to leave those blinders by the wayside.
Going through the pages of this book is to realize that domestic violence is an issue of us as community, as family, and as friends. People we know and care about are delivering the violence, and people we know and care about are on the receiving end.
The book begs us to let go of our common ideas of domestic violence, and ask ourselves some tough questions. In answering those tough questions the author further challenges us to discover that the situation we face with spousal abuse and intimate partner violence can no longer be easily dismissed.
We arrive at a deeper and richer understanding, a fuller awareness of how the violence plays out. We also arrive at our own levels of choice about shifting conversation, of breaking the walls of silence in healthy ways, so that the women and girls we know and love are safe, free, and can build their lives with some self reliance.
Any reader finishing the journey through this heart rending book, honestly asking the questions posed by the author, will find themselves changed, and compelled to help the woman and girl you love break free of the cycle, and restore her sense of dignity and self value.
- Sales Rank: #1940357 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-01-26
- Released on: 2015-01-26
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Roxanne Whatley is an award winning advocate for effective domestic violence solutions, best selling author, docudrama film producer, companion animal rescue promoter, as well as todays leading expert in the field of mind root behavior psychology. She’s known as “the guru of why we do what we do.” Born into the world of film & television in Studio City, California to a man who was a grip at Paramount Studios and his struggling screenwriter wife, Roxanne lived the duality of upbeat outside appearances and the darkness behind closed doors. Her father - an alcoholic; her mother - suffering from narcissistic personality disorder; her childhood - filled with abuse, neglect, illness and trauma. Displaying what she would later understand to be a level of intuitive accuracy usually found in life threatening war zones, she set out to discover what this faculty was, how it worked, why it was so feared and derided in society, and why everyone didn’t naturally have the skill. She also wanted desperately to understand what love was, how relationships worked, to fix them, heal them and support them. Out of her self questioning difficult childhood she battled bulimia/anorexia, depression and a deep belief that she was worthless founding herself as an adult in a series of escalating abusive relationships, one so severe she was being shoved from a speeding car into heavy oncoming traffic, with emergency room specialists reading her CAT scan astounded she survived the multiple fractures of her skull. The immediate aftermath plunged her into overwhelming legal, financial and further life threatening trauma. While still struggling with her own emotional and physical issues, she found herself homeless and destitute. Pulling herself out by research, counseling others and herself, she spent the last 20 years behind the scenes helping other victims & families of domestic violence learn to be survivors. Her #1 best selling book, Living in Shadow and Light, is being developed into a docudrama by her production company Vanadis Films. She was given the prestigious “Hathor Award” for her tireless work to help those women and children come through domestic violence to heal from battered woman syndrome and PTSD. She is a consultant in the field of human interaction & communication; an advisor to first responders confronting abuse; she works with animal rescues to help them be more self sustaining. She can be found living in her shadow and light, and at RoxanneWhatley.com
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Had to read to the very end!
By Denise
I picked up this book intending to read for a short while and found I didn't put it down until I had read it cover to cover.
Setting out the experiences of people who she has worked with, Roxanne explains what she believes is behind domestic violence and the relationships that lead to that road, or 'shadow' as she presents it. But don't think her opinion is based purely on her work with others, as becomes evident, she herself has been on the wrong side of this far to frequent situation.
Working with those in shadow she explains how situations can be turned around (brought in to the light), what may create the situation and how the future does not need to follow the same road but can be redirected.
I feel there is more to come from Roxanne, but this is a solid and informative start that I am pleased to recommend to others.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Art can be looked at from 360 degrees. This ...
By Libby Loudilla
Art can be looked at from 360 degrees. This book gives the reader the same
ability - to look at the issue of DV from 360 degrees. It is written with a balance
from the personal and the professional experiences. It is written with gentleness,
honesty, humor, and tenderness. There are twists of a sentence that create openings
for the reader to deepen understandings from all perspectives. The author holds
a light - not too bright, not too dim. It offers education and a soothing salve. She writes
to our intelligence and our uneducated parts. We have a chance to heal DV through the gift
of this book. What a powerful culture we would be if this were to become required reading.
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