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“The Gang” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia attempts their most ill-conceived, get-rich quick scheme yet: publishing a “self-help book” to hilarious, sometimes dangerous, and often revolting, results.
The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.
In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.
Fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia rejoice and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.
- Sales Rank: #36464 in Books
- Published on: 2015-01-06
- Released on: 2015-01-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .62" w x 6.00" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
From the Back Cover
It works! Trust us!
Warning: Following the "advice" contained herein could get you arrested, maimed, or killed.
No $$Money$$ Back Guarantee!
Friendless? Poor? Ugly?
Need help luring the woman or man of your dreams onto a boat? Hungry for Rum Ham but don't know how long to cook it? Confused as to the legality of keeping birds as pets in your particular home state? Look no further, loser. The gang from Paddy's Pub have combined forces to weigh in on life's most important topics:
• Relationships • Financial Success and Career • Fashion and Personal Grooming • Health and Diet • Survival Skills
Grab a beer, throw caution and common sense to the wind, and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.
About the Author
Charlie Kelly, Ronald "Mac" McDonald, Dennis Reynolds, Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds, and Frank Reynolds (also known as the gang) live and work in Philadelphia.
Most helpful customer reviews
35 of 36 people found the following review helpful.
A classic destined to be treasured forever...
By heidiandpona
***SPOILERS***
If you have never watched an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" then this book is not for a jabroni like you.
But if you are a glue-huffing degenerate who enjoys the antics of the most wretched gang of drunks, this is a self-help book for written just for you suckers, er, geniuses.
The funniest sections were Charlie's by far. It's ironic that an illiterate's writings and rants were the best. Love his advice for stalking the one you love. His avian brilliance also reminds us why he is the pre-eminent expert on US bird law.
And his recipes for making cheese are priceless. Remember that old Polly-O String Cheese Commercial? Just order a pie, but hold everything but the cheese!
Other cheese making recipes include stealing from rat traps or making your own cheese with orange juice and half and half, letting it sit around for a couple of weeks behind a toilet...and enjoy!
That Charlie, he's a cheese-rat genius.
Dennis' sections are lucid and intelligent. He actually gives good advice on how to not get stuck doing Charlie work and how a man should properly apply makeup (to his face, abs and male parts). Dennis may be a potential serial killer, is questionably a rapist and absolutely is a voyeur, but other than that, he's a golden god with a body sculpted to proportions of Michaelangelo's David, so what he says matters.
I love Frank's advice how to manipulate everybody. That man knows his stuff. And his recipes! Mmm-mmm! Now I know how to make a delicious rum ham using only a canned ham, a few bottles of rum, a gun and several bullets. Plus Italian parsley for garnish to make it classy. There's his blue-jean tea recipe which require crabs dredged out from the polluted Delaware river. But his recipe for raccoon...yummy! For you "Hannibal" fans afraid to take the leap into full-out cannibalism, a raccoon is as close as you'll get to tasting human flesh. Just watch out for those tapeworms. Unless you want tapeworms to lose weight, then it's all good.
Dee's sections surprisingly didn't suck, even though she's the useless chick. As we all know in this group there is the Wildcard: Charlie, The Brain: Mac, The Looks: Dennis, The Muscle: Frank and the Useless Chick: Dee (also known as the giant bird). Her reverse D.E.N.N.I.S system S.I.N.N.E.D. is awesome, because while Dennis sleeps with chicks just to sleep with them and leave, Dee sleeps with guys to steal from them. Even Frank says he's proud of his girl because she is both a [REDACTED] and a thief, and that's the best way to get through life is [REDACTED]' and thievin'. (She's also likes to poison people, but that big, yellow bird can't do anything right!)
Mac...well his sections weren't awful, but they were the least funny. At first I did laugh at how he went on and on about the oily, buffed, masculine physiques of certain action stars (Carl Weathers, Sly Stallone, Jesse Ventura, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dolph Lundgren) and we all know he is certainly 1000% not gay, so there's nothing to be read in there. And his comment about it being "Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve Hawking" did merit a chuckle, but he should stick to topics he knows best, like his martial art moves and occular patdowns.
This book is a classic destined to be treasured forever with the writings of Shakespeare and Twain and Hemingway. No doubt will it be taught in classrooms for decades to come.
17 of 19 people found the following review helpful.
The definitive self-help book for 2015 and the definitive reference on bird-law rolled into one.
By Ian McLeod
When I got the message that this had been delivered to my Kindle account this morning, I veritably leapt for joy. I've spent every spare minute I've had today reading this fine book the Gang and HarperCollins have unleashed on the world.
It is essential reading not only for the Always Sunny fan, but for anyone wishing to be a knowledgeable, well-rounded, decent human being.
I'm very happy to have a canonical recipe for rum ham, as the other recipe I found on the internet--while delicious--needed far more booze: that and the raccoon recipe together are worth the price of the book. I was also pleased by the information I learned from Mr. Kelly's expert piece--nay--dissertation on Bird Law....sparrows...that chapter will be an important reference to me for years to come.
Having read the book and taken the quizzes, I feel like a better person already--my highly-effective four-hour giant is indeed awake. Get a copy and awaken yours today.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Funniest book ever!
By Daniel J. Dunn
Brilliant. Reading it is like watching a bunch of new episodes of the show. I laughed so hard, I cried.
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